The Motherload of Yes

It’s a rainy day here on Ladson. It reminds me of Ireland, as the rain is “soft” they say.

It’s the first time I’ve cooked breakfast in awhile for the family. There have been many do it yourself mornings this summer. Grab your own toast, cereal, milk.

But now it’s back to breakfasts, the Pandora Moby station and getting a minute to myself to write again.


There’s been lots of talk about giving God your Yes. It’s true. It’s what He wants.


I gave God my Yes to what He has been saying over me for years at the beginning of the summer. There is certainly a grandness to what He says over us. It should feel a little scary to say Yes to God. We have small human dreams over ourselves at times. He has big huge ones…better than we could imagine.

The training ground for His glory in us, though, is the ancient path. A path that many have walked down before us. It is a path full of routines, immense pain, loneliness, suffering, but ALWAYS a good meal on the way, with unexpected companions. There are treasures in hidden places. We get to gaze into the very face of God as our reward.

He is our reward. Saying Yes to God unleashes the Motherload. The motherload of Glory, pain, intimacy and life in the Spirit.

There was a massive high dive at the hotel we used to stay at in Entebbe, Uganda. It was super scary. Your heart would beat itself right up into your throat right before jumping. I went to the edge. I had to put all reason and logic aside and just jump. Looking at the proud, expectant faces of my team members (there was also a tinge of “that girl is crazy” there too) was all I needed.

Wind in my hair, gravity pulling me down fast, the smack of the water and the relief of sinking down to come back up. It was much less scary than I thought and the cheers of my team members and feeling true to my nickname “Uganda Wanda” was worth it.

Saying Yes to God is like this. Looking into His proud, expectant, full of laughter face to find strength to risk.

And a bonus, although all hell has broken loose since I have said Yes, I do always get good parking spaces.


White Truce.

To Gaza, I am saying this. My heart breaks for your innocents. Justice is not being done. Yet you have war in your hearts. I’ve lived in a war zone for two years. I can’t imagine the terror you’ve seen for centuries. I’ve seen terror. Don’t fight terror with terror.

Yet there is forgiveness in the eyes of some of your people. I see it. Let the God of Israel, who also is your God, love you.

To Israel. Some of you have rejected Jesus. He will fight for you, as He has always done and will continue to do. He has already forgiven you for killing Him and rejecting you. Receive His forgiveness. Allow yourselves to be forgiven. Forgive, and love your enemies.  You are beautiful in His sight.

“Love is the temple, love the higher law.” U2
“Soldier of Love” Sade


Love is a temple, love the higher law.  You ask me to enter, but then you make me crawl.  U2

Love is brutal at times.

It’s also as gentle as a summer rain.


For me, recently, I’ve tasted the crawling side of love.  You know, the kind of love that denies and shuts up.  The kind of love that sees no offense, and that rallies no defense.

Although painful, it’s utterly humanizing.  It makes us into who we are supposed to be.  Humans, ourselves.

Like Eustace in Narnia.  His crap turned him into a dragon.  And then Aslan had to rip him a new one, so he could be the boy he was always meant to be.

All I have to say is to keep going.  When the pain of love is too much to bear, crawl to get through it and to it if you have to.

Fear it. Feel it. Scream your way through it with the help of Evanescence.

And it will all get better.


Matthew 10

Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. 36And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household. 37Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

Breathe:  Breathe in the Peace of Jesus, who also brings justice.

Read:  Read this slowly and carefully. 

Meditate:  Which words speak to you right now? How is family pain bringing in the kingdom?

Extend:  How does this effect your life?  The fact that you are a Chosen One.  What do you need to give up to be like Abraham and follow the course that God is calling you to, despite persecution from those closest to you?


Just wanted to say a huge thanks to everyone who has donated.  We only need $1500 more in the next two days.  We have had around $500 donated. Be looking for promotional video that is coming out soon! You can donate here. Please download a copy of Dismantling Taboo and give it to someone who needs it if you make a donation. Your names will be included in gift baskets because we want the women to know that they are being blessed from around the country.





Raw Tonight

I think the world is tired.  Tired.  With lots of glory, and lots of waiting.

I for one am sick of taking medicine for my brain.  I’m thankful for it, but sick of having to pop pills every night.

I’m sick of taking matters in my own hands.  Instead of waiting.  And watching God work.  Letting God work.  Which is actually working with God.

All I have to say is, Come Lord Jesus.  I think we are all probably ready.


I light up a cigarette.  Thoughts waxing and waning with each puff.

I think to myself, I’m sick of all this stuff.

I’m thankful, though for each drag

And offer up my dirty rag

Waiting for your kingdom come,

Your will be done.

On earth as it is in heaven.


Help! :)

Dear Friends,

An exciting opportunity has arisen for me and the women of Long Branch Baptist Church here in the neighborhood.  I would like to print 150 copies of my book.  Also, my friend is going to make gift baskets with the book in them!  We are giving these baskets as GIFTS to the women at the church.  We need to raise 2500 by June 2 to cover the printing of the books and assembling of the baskets.  Donations can be make through my website.  It is safe and secure. Click on the “donate $1 button” and you can donate any amount.  Please share this and donate as God leads.  Thanks for your help!!


Clear and Free

I was thinking the other day…

When Jesus cleared the temple of all the money changers, He had us in mind.

Let me explain. 

We are meant to be a house of prayer.  A house of intimacy.  A house of rest.  The church.  He was pissed that there was so much other stuff going on in His house.  What’s going on in you?  In me?  Blinding us from what we’re supposed to see.  His face.  His face of passion for us, His love.  I think the problem with the church is this:  We don’t know who we are.  The Holy of Holies.  The place where Glory resides.

But the good news is that He’s cleared it all.  He did that day in the temple and He continues to do so in our own lives.  It was finished on the cross.  We must claim what is ours.  We must say yes to what He is saying over us…


So that we may know the Glory set before Him.  Us.



Joshua received land, food and vineyards. He was delivered from the hand of Balaam.

Deliverance.  It is a theme of the Old Testament.

Battles were fought.  People lost their lives so God’s beloved could receive their inheritance.  It wasn’t pretty, often.  Blood was spilled. Cities destroyed. Rulers brought down.

I don’t understand His ways.  There were many of faith who struggled with His ways.  Sarah and Abraham.  The list goes on.  They even took matters into their own hands.  Just like I do.  But there was still deliverance.  Grace.  It didn’t stop Plans.

All of this…leading up to Divinity taking on human flesh to deliver.  To make the way, through blood, beating, and death, to bring people, like me who can be stuck in my own ways, to Vineyards that weren’t mine. The ultimate Ruler was brought down on the cross.

He is the Vineyard.

He is the land that I don’t deserve to live in.

What will I do with this? His unsettling Grace that brings deliverance?

I didn’t work in those fields that are now mine.  Through Jesus, I am invited in this moment, with gigantic circumstances looming over my head, to be delivered.

To Feast.

To Bounty.

To Home.

(Joshua 24, ESV)


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